A Final Good-bye

Have you ever felt like time is standing still?

That’s exactly what happened to me on November 4, 2007. I walked through the cold halls of Manor Park making my way to Room 409. After turning two corners you could smell the Bengay and denture cream down the gloomy hallway. I made it. The door was slightly cracked open so I slowly pushed it open. I slowly poked my head around the heavy door. There he was lying in bed barely breathing with the sheets pulled up to his chest. His eyes were closed with his head tilt and mouth open. I walked to his side.

“Grandpa, I know it’s hurting, but I know you’ll always be with us,” I whispered in his ear. No movement just a deeper breath he took as I said those words. I just knew he had heard me. I knew this would be the day I would have to say my final good-bye.

Three hours later he was still holding on. My father, my brother and I stepped out of Manor Park to leave for a bit so we could change clothes. We were about to pass the mall when I received an urgent call from my mom telling me they couldn’t find a pulse on Grandpa. We hurried back.

There we all stood next to him when the doctor from hospice informed us he had passed on. Immediately, memories swirled around me of the days we spent together.

There you are, Grandpa, with me at age of five; both of us have hard hats on and hammers in our hands to tear down that old backyard fence. That’s us again, just the two of us taking a road trip across Texas and you not trusting my internet directions; you decided to try to find alternate routes just in case it took us somewhere else. One of my fondest days with you was seeing you sitting in the United Spirit Arena singing your college Alma Mater at my graduation like a day had not gone by since you stood in that same celebration. I couldn’t believe you didn’t forget a word to that school song. WOW, what can I say we had some great memories!

The circle of memories begins to fade. Today, we will leave you in peace and will meet again one day in heaven. There’s no doubt Grandpa, you’ll be watching over me and the rest of our family like you always do...like you always did.

We slowly made our way to the nurses’ station down the hall to make phone calls to family and friends. For the next hour, it seemed time stood still for me. Maybe it did for Mom, too, and my other family members. I don’t know. But it did for me, and it was hard getting up and walking out of the room but not just the room but Manor Park knowing I wouldn’t be visiting Grandpa anymore.

By: Ann Ratanasavetavadhana